What People Are Saying About Penny

"I like to think of you as a high priced call girl that the unwashed masses can't afford--like Woody Allen's Whore of Mensa. It's not your fault that people offer $10 blowjobs on the street corner. It's not an insult if somebody doesn't buy your art." -Alexandra J Walters

"Once Penny was making her own silk thread, and a midget appeared. Before he could open his ugly mouth, without looking up, she exclaimed, 'Rumpelstiltskin. Now get the fuck out of here.' Fairytale Over."- Beth Featherstone

"Penny can push a needle through a telephone pole without a thimble." -Shane Blaufuss

"When a man asked Penny, 'What’s the meaning of life?' She looked at him for exactly 3 minutes, completely still, until he cried. That man’s name was Steve Jobs."- Beth Featherstone

"A demon from the pits of bitch cunt." -W.C. Hurst

Thursday, December 24, 2009

YUMMY HOLIDAY FOOD TOWN!!!!

Happy Holidays Everyone! My gift to you is the Dr. Pepper Glazed Ham recipe.


Here's the recipe! It's Stupid Easy-
INGREDIENTS
One 10-pound, bone-in smoked ham, skin removed and fat trimmed to 1/4 inch
3 cups Dr Pepper (not diet)
2 cups water
1/2 cup pitted prunes
1/3 cup yellow mustard (I use whole grain)
1/3 cup light brown sugar
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch mixed with 2 tablespoons of water

DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 325° and position a rack in the bottom third of the oven. Set the smoked ham in a large roasting pan.
Score a 1/4-inch-deep crosshatch pattern into the fat at 2-inch intervals. Pour 2 cups of the Dr Pepper and the 2 cups of water into the pan and roast the ham for about 2 1/2 hours, until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the ham registers 120°.
Increase the oven temperature to 425°.
Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, simmer the prunes in the remaining 1 cup of Dr Pepper until they are plump and the liquid is slightly reduced, about 10 minutes.
Using a slotted spoon, transfer the prunes to a small bowl and cover with plastic wrap.
Whisk the mustard, brown sugar and vinegar into the liquid in the saucepan and boil until very thick and syrupy, about 5 minutes.
Drizzle the syrupy glaze over the ham and roast until glossy, 20 minutes. Carefully transfer the ham to a cutting board.
Pour the pan juices into the saucepan and spoon off the fat.
Boil the sauce until reduced to 2 cups, 10 minutes.
Whisk in the cornstarch slurry and the prunes and bring to a boil.
Simmer the sauce until thickened, 2 minutes.
Slice the ham and serve with the Dr Pepper sauce.

***After you've Hammed on It for about a week, because that's how much leftovers you'll have, pick the bone and make stock. It will be amazing and it can go in anything... Beans, Grits, Soup, Greens, Sauces...
***Also, this is sweet, but not as eye watering sweet as you'd think it would be. The mustard and the vinegar really cuts through.
****This is not an original recipe, It might be Alton Brown or Food and Wine. I can't remember because I just have it saved as a DOC on my computron.
But this will be the fourth time I've made it, AND IT IS AWESOME!

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