What People Are Saying About Penny

"I like to think of you as a high priced call girl that the unwashed masses can't afford--like Woody Allen's Whore of Mensa. It's not your fault that people offer $10 blowjobs on the street corner. It's not an insult if somebody doesn't buy your art." -Alexandra J Walters

"Once Penny was making her own silk thread, and a midget appeared. Before he could open his ugly mouth, without looking up, she exclaimed, 'Rumpelstiltskin. Now get the fuck out of here.' Fairytale Over."- Beth Featherstone

"Penny can push a needle through a telephone pole without a thimble." -Shane Blaufuss

"When a man asked Penny, 'What’s the meaning of life?' She looked at him for exactly 3 minutes, completely still, until he cried. That man’s name was Steve Jobs."- Beth Featherstone

"A demon from the pits of bitch cunt." -W.C. Hurst

"pulitzer for you too." -John Lurie

Friday, May 1, 2009

Moving on

Habu Textiles 100% Stainless Steel Thread. Part Two. Is it weird that I turned my product review into erotic fiction? I didn't think so either.

I saw you sitting there in the Local Yarn Store/Bar. You were full of easy confidence, simple elegance, and obvious strength. You had a updated modern look, that spoke of possibility. What would happen if I took you home? Would you let me try things I had never dared to try before? I couldn't wait to get my hands on you.

After a little awkwardness, and another drink, we got down to business. First we tried the “Embroidery”. I found you to be deceptively fragile, and even after a lot of plying, you still couldn't get comfortable enough just lay down and make knots with me. Maybe it was me. Maybe my fingers just weren't nimble enough, and maybe I wasn't prepared to deal with how slippery you turned out to be.

Afterward, we both felt unsatisfied. You didn't have to say anything, I could tell.

I thought about you many times over the next few days. I have to admit, you made me feel inexperienced, out of my depth. I thought about passing you along to one of my wilder friends, but no, I couldn't give up just yet. I could see the potential, the amazing, earth shattering things we could do together, but I knew I would have to approach you differently next time around. And then it occurred to me, perhaps we both needed a little help?

As I looked through my Little Black Book/Giant Black Bookshelf of fiber, Blue Faced Leicester immediately jumped out. So soft and supple, so... willing. Forgiving. All my friends had told me you were into that sort of thing.

BFL immediately got down to business. She had been waiting patiently on her Bar Stool/Spool for weeks, and she was ready to play. You took some coaxing however. You were not down with the Lazy Kate, and only allowed me to very carefully wind you on to the Nostepinne along with BFL. It was slow going with many Interruptions/Breakages. I almost called it a night, but the three of us had come so far. I knew if I didn't get out the spindle immediately, it would never happen for us.

When it was all over, I really felt like BFL and I did all the work, and you were more trouble than you were worth. ($16.00 a spool). Let's be honest, you did lead me on, but I did try to make you my boyfriend when you clearly were not boyfriend material. That's okay though. I've had way more frustrating walks of shame.

300 yds. BFL spun on a high whorl spindle and plied with Habu stainless steel thread. Long draw, low twist. This will be knitted then fulled for a sculptural piece.
I can spin thousands of yards on a drop spindle for a textile piece that will take me a year to complete, but I can't check my mail. PTSD is amazing.

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