What People Are Saying About Penny

"I like to think of you as a high priced call girl that the unwashed masses can't afford--like Woody Allen's Whore of Mensa. It's not your fault that people offer $10 blowjobs on the street corner. It's not an insult if somebody doesn't buy your art." -Alexandra J Walters

"Once Penny was making her own silk thread, and a midget appeared. Before he could open his ugly mouth, without looking up, she exclaimed, 'Rumpelstiltskin. Now get the fuck out of here.' Fairytale Over."- Beth Featherstone

"Penny can push a needle through a telephone pole without a thimble." -Shane Blaufuss

"When a man asked Penny, 'What’s the meaning of life?' She looked at him for exactly 3 minutes, completely still, until he cried. That man’s name was Steve Jobs."- Beth Featherstone

"A demon from the pits of bitch cunt." -W.C. Hurst

"pulitzer for you too." -John Lurie

Monday, April 20, 2009

This has nothing to do with art and or crafts.

Not so long ago, I was much crazier than I would have ever thought was possible. In my early twenties, my parents died, along with other close family, my friends were getting kidnapped or murdered... It pretty much sucked a lot. Quite a few of those anniversaries culminated in the early spring, and drinking my way through those periods was no longer doing the trick, so I invented Flight Suit Week.
Yep. Every spring, during the week that contained April 21, I would wear a flight suit for seven days and terrify my neighborhood with drunken antics. This might include stealing cars, getting tattoos, giving tattoos (yikes!), setting off firecrackers in my bar, or my neighbor's bar, wandering around with an accordion and picking fights, laying on stranger's floors drinking Mad Dog and singing ODB, showing up at my friend's work with spray paint and whiskey... Honestly I don't remember a lot of it. The first few years there were threats and interventions as the start drew near, but then everyone gave up and embraced it and started planing events around it. It became a holiday week for the neighborhood.
For me, it was like a self inflicted scared straight program, because by day five, I really didn't want to zip up that suit and pick up that warm bottle of Campari. But I did it so that I could get it out of my system and be a little saner in the following months.
Then I met John. He had been in town for his mothers funeral, to which I clapped and jumped up and down and congratulated him. He moved back a month later, he said to stalk or date me. POW. That happened to be during Flight Suit Week '06. Instead of being terrified, he asked me out on a date anyway. It also happened to be the anniversary of my mom's death. By our third date, we had kidnapped each other and moved in together.
Our first date.

Flight Suit Week ended several days early that year, and was never taken up again. Now instead of sobbing and drinking myself into a jail or liver transplant, we go on vacation every year and celebrate our anniversary. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Hotel Loving
Tomorrow we're heading to the coast, and all of your cars are safe.

People don't deserve the restraint we show by not going into delirium in front of them. To hell with them!
Louis-Ferdinand CĂ©line


  1. what a trouble life you had! I can't understand all you write(i'm italian and don't speak your language very well!so maybe I am not
    able to explain what I want to say!).Painful life bring persons to a kind of aggressivity used to fend themselves (and whwn john call you for , but give persons a high sensitivity and analysis ability and this go out from your works!! I love them a lot!! You and John are perfect toghether!!!
    Have a nice time!

  2. holy crap!
    excellent turn of events, though and congrats on saving spring for yourselves.
    enjoy your trip to the shore!

  3. Thanks for reading my "Overshare" and everyone's thoughtful comments! We had a great time!

  4. Penny - I think you are completely amazing. I can't even fathom what kinds of things you have been through. I think you and Johnny Murder are the cutest couple this side of a mountain of chilli fries (or fried plantains for that matter) and I can't wait for the day that I can hold you in my arms and give you a kiss :)